"I Don't Want to Be the Drama Queen, I Want to Be the Pants Queen" by Gypsy Amazon
"Life is Tricky Baby, Stay in Your Magic"
Stuff happens, emotions come up, we are not made out of iron, and how cool is that? We are sensitive beings, and sometimes negative emotions can get triggered out of a sudden: frustration, disappointment, jealousy, sadness, anger, fear...
"It is what it is!"
10 Anti-Drama Believes
- Everything happens for a Reason
- We normally have a Choice
- There is always a Lesson, the fastest we learn, the fastest we move on
- The Least Attached to the outcome we are, the better it is
- The lesson is not about someone else, it is about Ourselves!
- It may take some time until we are Ready to see it
- We just need to Trust and Relax into it
- Everything will Pass, because everything is transforming constantly
- We are Energetically present in people’s heart forever
- Leave a Positive impact when you are gone, energy doesn’t die
“Remember that your perception of
the world is a reflection of your state
of consciousness” Eckart Tolle
MY PERSONAL NO DRAMA PLEASE
Below, I tried to classify different types of Drama and the best ways I have found so far, to deal with them.
I’ve lost people I love, and that was one of the saddest and most profound experiences I had - To loose my dad from cancer was a really challenging situation. I felt trapped in a chain of pain that surrounded me and all my closest loved ones. We all felt at the same time: impotent, fearful, and deeply sad.
Looking now, 6 years later, still sad for not having him around, enjoying the island life, I am extremely grateful for the catalyst of my transformation, the event that made me question the life I was living, the rules I was following. It made me understand that this life is precious, and is short, and I really want to live it (under my own rules), before I die.
At the same time, I started to get more in touch with my own spirituality, my believe in reincarnation. It makes me feel in peace with death to think we are here in this life, as a little part of a much bigger journey. It makes me feel good to think that my dad fulfilled his time here, and his body left, but his spirit is somewhere, evolving. It makes me peaceful and content to feel I bring him to life in energetic form, each time I think of him.
Finding the right spiritual answer to your existential questions, may help you to see death in a more acceptable way. Maybe if we are not afraid of death, we are less afraid of living! And in contradiction to what I normally say, in this case "everybody is gonna die", so the more in peace we are with that, the better it is.
“We are all eternal souls in a endless universe”
Sometimes we are in drama, because we made the choices, that now seem weird and even wrong… while the reason why we made them are relevant for the people involved, but irrelevant for this post, the understanding that you made a choice, and therefore you can make another one is crucial to drama check-out.
There is no need to stick to the initial idea that lead you to the make "that choice", in the first place. There was most likely the need to try that. If it didn’t work, or it worked for some time, for some purpose, if it doesn’t work for you anymore, you are probably free to change your mind and try something else. Give yourself the mental freedom to exercise your right of choice, and the right of making mistakes.
If the problem is that the choice hurts someone else, well, that sucks... but in my view there is no way out of it, but talking openly about the "mistake", maybe the "mistake" happened just so the people can talk about it.
Sometimes the ego gets in the way though, because it doesn’t like to make mistakes. I am a Leo, and I know it's not the most pleasant thing to realise you were wrong about something. But the truth is that, the sooner I let go of the ego’s need of being right, the fastest I change the situation. Admitting I've made a mistake, still feels better than continuing being wrong.
"Out Beyond Ideas of Wrongdoing and Rightdoing There is a Field. I'll Meet You There" Rumi
Identifying With The Victim
Identifying myself with the victim of the situation - was definitely the most disempowering place I’ve ever been, psychologically and emotionally speaking. As well as one of the most painful experiences. It made me feel resentful towards somebody at first, but mainly upset with myself allowing it to happen, and for feeling so miserable about it.
Yes, I know, feeling weak and vulnerable is part of life, but does not make me feel good about my self. So it’s not a role I would choose playing for too long.
On a positive note, feeling the victim of a situation, was also the realisation of my inner strength, it was when self love and self respect stepped in so strongly, that nothing on this planet would make me stay where I was. It was the understanding that compassion is not complete, if does not include me.
It was the magical moment when I truly showed up for myself and no matter how painful it was for me, at the time, I removed myself from the situation, as fast as I could. Once again, making it very clear, who is in control. And only that, by itself, was already so empowering that the drama soon faded away....
“There is nothing more beautiful than when you prove to yourself just how strong you are”
Annoying Litte Things
The little things are quite challenging for me, they actuallly annoy the hell out of me… if I miss the ferry, or I need to queue, if the visa doesn't work or my bank account gets blocked... if I am late and there’s a snail driver in front of me. Yes, I can be a spoiled little bitch, and I know it. I am used to things working for me the way I want, but of course it is not always the case... and so I can get quite grumpy. What do I do? I embrace it all, I allow myself to get annoyed and swear really funny words in Portuguese for a few minutes, then after a while I need to get over it.
For this little annoying things, and because of their superficiality, I find superficial little pleasures for immediate compensation. Like going to eat a cake and forgetting about it. Going for a massage and forgetting about it. Calling a friend to laugh about yourself and your annoyance and forgetting about it. The important thing is forget about it, and really let go.
“I am not going to allow to be taken out of my Vortex by THAT, for too long”
Heartache!!!! He/She Doesn’t Love Me
We all've been there. Thought this question, over and over again, repeatedly in our minds. My honest conclusion is that, I believe "he" is not with me because "he" is not meant to be with me. I know it sounds a cliche, but if two people are not together is because one of them for some reason can’t or doesn’t want it. As simple as that. At least not in that specific moment.
From my experience, nothing can stop two people that really want to be together. Therefore we don’t need to be afraid of loosing the “love of our lives”- because “the love of our lives” will want to be with us so badly that there will be no obstacles. If that is not happening, we may also consider that he/she is not the “love of our lives”, and move on. Haha
You know what I mean? The least that the "love of my life" needs to do is to freaking love me back. If I am not feeling loved back, something must be reviewed urgently.
Now, I am not sure if that sounds too romantic or too pragmatic, or too much of both. But whatever it is, it helped me not to get caught up in romantic drama for too long.
“If the Door Is Closed, It’s Not Your Door”
Third Party Drama
This one is tricky because it’s drama involving people that you love, and it can drag you in, in sneaky ways. When you see, you are spending time and energy trying to solve somebody else’s problem, that was never yours in the first place.
Understanding that you are not in control of other people’s lives is a great step towards third party drama check-out.
What I've been trying, perhaps not always succeeding is... to hold the space for them, try to give them my very best empowering advice and hold their hands. But I believe that situations happen to me because I have something to learn, and so it works for other people. They need to learn something, they will come out of it, when time comes.
Today, just before I finished this post, I received a quote from a dear friend, Sabine Friedrich, it said "If you try to help a butterfly to come out of her cocoon, you will kill her. You can't help the sprouts come out of the seeds either. Some things need to happen from within". Since we cannot learn it for them, live it for them, or solve it for them. We can only trust that our loved ones are doing the best they can out of their journeys. And be in peace with them doing it.
“If you can't help it, don't think about it" Carmel Myers
Self Made Drama
Sorry guys, but with this one, I truly cannot.
Did you ever come up to me with a dramatic story and you felt that I was telling you off?
Yes, I was.
If you have no interest in learning anything from your negative emotions or experiences, if you are not willing to look at yourself, if you don't want to solve it, you just want to complain and spread it. Please, please an thank you, try not to do it over and over again with me. I am not going to validate it for too long... It's just draining me, and it doesn't really take anybody anywhere.
Sometimes I do that too, don't worry. I do recognise that in me, that is probably why it is so triggering.... I can create some dramatic story and believe for a while, that there is a real problem. If you catch me doing this, here I am, officially asking you to get me out of my head, and back to my own powerful self, where self made drama, has no place.
“What You Give Power To, Has Power Over You”
If you find this post useful, maybe you feel like sharing your best way of dealing with drama too? And help me and others with your anti-drama inner wisdom! Please write your comments below.
Thank you and Have An Awesome Day!!!!
Love, from Paradise